Back in 2016 I picked up a book titled ’50 races to run before you die’. One of the races in there was the iconic Comrades marathon in South Africa. I remembered that I always wanted to do that. Having recently entered my forties, I was slowly becoming aware of getting older and decided to take action! First of all I needed to run a marathon to qualify. Well, that set something in motion that flowed right from the centre of my heart….

8 years later I have not run the Comrades marathon yet, but I have done some epic ultra marathons over multiple days here in the UK, the longest one being the Dragon’s Back Race between Conwy in North Wales and Cardiff in South Wales. I completed that on second attempt in September 2023. The Northern Traverse across the North of England from St Bees on the West Coast to Robin Hood’s Bay on the East Coast was also a marvellous adventure. 

I have written extensively about my ultra-marathons before, but not about my early days of running marathons. It was during these early years that I learnt the foundational lessons that set me on a marvellous course of adventure and discovery. One massive win was to discover that injury is NOT inevitable, but niggles are and they are our teachers and guides to develop in our training. Our bodies will tell us what they need, if only we pay attention and listen carefully. My foot that suffered from plantar fasciitis needed, amongst other things, to complete the Dragon’s Back Race. A former me would have pulled out of the event! 

I remember my first four marathons with gratitude. They lay the foundation for a lifestyle of optimum aerobic fitness and an embodied knowledge that I can realise dreams and do hard things, that I can experience joy and fulfilment.

For this one I sort of just kept ticking over, maintaining my fitness.
Running had become a non-negotiable. It was my SELF-CARE.
I went on a marvellous adventure to run Marathon Eryri in Snowdonia. This time, a creative flow was unleashed and I returned to my first blog to share more with less reserve, with the world. It was more for myself of course, the start of a process of becoming UNAPOLOGETICALLY ME.
I also wanted more, to challenge myself, explore what I can achieve and learn as much as I can. Perhaps I can be a runner after all! I call this the marathon breakthrough.

The Zen of the marathon

So I’ve mentioned before
I like to run
especially the marathon

The reason for this
is the pain turned to bliss
when all the seperate parts
become one

Beyond the pain
I find a place
where I know
we are marvellous
the human race.

You can read the original blog post here.

Now, 7 years on, I would say the zen of the marathon is the freedom to belong to myself and this is my biggest treasure going through menopause. I am attuned to my body and I have learnt to follow the rhythms and cycles of my life without judgement. I ride the waves of my emotions rather than abandon myself when the waters get rough. I practice curiosity and compassion towards that which baffles, angers or saddens me in myself and others.

 I have entered a new phase. Perhaps things are getting a bit out of balance, or perhaps balance is still not properly restored. I have bigger aspirations and have set my sights on getting a championship place for London Marathon. I read books about faster marathoning and aim for the qualifying time.

I do the same as for marathon one by choosing a training plan to impose upon my life. The imposition was greater with higher volume and intensity. This, coupled with blind faith in the schedule and lack of knowledge and experience to be feeling-based and response regulated in my training, set me up for an important learning experience. I tip into overtraining, insomnia, injury risk and exhaustion.

I pull back and still manage the marathon in a good time and on the edge of cramping towards the end. I can’t get to my bag quickly enough and end up in the back of an ambulance with hypothermia! I managed to do well in lots of races that year, got the London Marathon Championship place with a half marathon time, even though my sleep wasn’t fully restored for 6 months.

BIG LESSON going forward. SLOW DOWN. PRIORITISE RECOVERY. Pay attention to RECOVERY INDICATORS. I call this marathon learning. 

I bought and devoured ‘The Endurance Handbook’ by Dr Phil Maffetone and then started to learn how to regulate my effort. This was the beginning of learning how to train smart rather than hard. I also read 80/20 Running, which was a bit of an eye-opener as well. Initially I had to use a heart rate monitor to keep my effort easier, because I was so conditioned to always push. Is this not also true in life? The expectations placed on us requires this of us and we develop a default state of ‘rushing’. I just ran on the trails of Gower and practised not running too hard. I did no ‘sessions’, the undulations of the trails gave enough variation.

Because I had tuned into myself and had followed my own path, I could quite simply admit to myself that the big City Marathon was not really my ultimate happy place. It was a marvellous experience to run London and Rotterdam, but the trails and the mountains were calling me. I call this the Marathon Compass… I was finding a way to remember who I am, return to myself, restore my heart and rewild my world. 

It felt like a crazy but absolutely necessary thing to do. London Marathon had not satisfied me and I wanted to do something with my fitness. It was the inaugural Brecon Beacons Ultra by RunWalkCrawl Races in June 2019 and I did it! What a revelation. It was 54km, 7000ft elevation and 7 hours 15 mins of beautiful views, solitude alternating with random entertaining company, lots of snacking, and the best cup of tea at the finish line. This kind of day out was my future!

Back in 2017 I wrote a poem of sorts about becoming a marathon runner. You can read it here. I had no idea how much more than running running would be. With curiosity and a hunger for learning, it has been a way of transformation and has become a way of life. I have made new friends, learnt new skills and had a load of wonderful adventures. Who knows what the future will hold?